Anxiety-Induced Insomnia

Why is it that I only post at 1Am? Maybe that's the only time when I am bored enough to do so. Nonetheless, with only 3 days left in America, I am beginning to freak out, and not just because I just started packing. Aside from the obvious fear of being overwhelmed by everything in London, I am really just wondering how everything will turn out once I get there, the unexpected...

Thankfully my Mom contacted her cousin, whose husband's brother lives in London, and who will be able to pick me up from the airport. Though I was initially hesitant at having to depend on the far-reaching powers of family (I am independent, that's what going to London is meant to symbolize!), I am grateful that this will be one less worry for me. I could imagine it now: me landing at 7AM in London, trying to transport four bags through Heathrow, while wondering how and who I should contact. I'd struggle trying to dial a number because I'd sit there wondering how to dial a + sign. Then I'd have to use the limited money (£) I had to get a train ticket into London. Once I dragged all my bags onto a train, I'd arrive in the city and have to pull the four bags through the train station until I found the Underground and got another train that would drop me off somewhere near Carr-Saunders Hall. Then, I'd have to drag the bags the numerous blocks until I actually got there. At this point, I'd be sweaty and gross and exhausted, but hey, I made it. Instead, I'll have help loading the bags into a car and have door-to-door service to my hall. Why was I so childish to initially refuse the help of others? Idiot...
Still, I'm scared shitless. It's gotten to the point where I'm listening to my Holiday (to be politically correct) playlist that is usually reserved for December. Christmas music is so cheerful and calming, yet it has an air of expectancy, and that's what I need right now. Too bad Christmas is still 94 days away (thanks Wolfram Alpha). Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...

While I was trying to fall asleep, I realized one flaw in this plan. If my plane lands at 6:55AM (GMT?), then the latest I would arrive at Carr-Saunders would be 9AM (and that's if it takes forever to get my bags and get into the city), which is still an hour before I am able to check-in and get into my room. Lame...what will I do while I wait to get my room? It'll be like when you get on a cruise ship and they still have to load your luggage into your room, so in the meantime, you explore the ship. So, I'll explore London, maybe get a phone or find a grocery store or a pub. But it's the walking around the city, even at 9AM on a Saturday, that frightens me. I already feel like an impostor, an interloper (my new favorite word, after maladroit), and worst, a tourist. And even without these retarded, unprovoked feelings, I'm sure I'll get lost, but all the better to kill time I guess.

Oh yeah, another thing, this whole thing in London is still one of my four years in college. Education is supposed to happen. So that means I need school supplies, right? Like notebooks and calculators? I'm still wondering if it's a joke that students in England don't buy textbooks. I wonder if I'll be the only kid in class who doesn't have a book, and that's if I can figure out which classes I'm in. I registered online for my classes, but it doesn't seem like LSE is too intent on letting us know what's going on. So far, I don't know if I'm for sure living in Carr-Saunders, what room, whether I bought linens, what classes I'm in, if the classes I want are available, when classes take place...but I do know how I can get to Wales or Scotland on the cheap! Maybe that's something else I can go pick up Saturday morning. Though in reality I think I may pass out on the sidewalk outside my residence hall and wait for all the 17 and 18 year old English kids who'll inevitably live in my building to rob me. Like stealing candy from a stupid, jet-lagged American.

Thank God for Frank Sinatra, that man's voice can calm a tiger. Are tigers in need of calming? Probably in the way I'm in need of sleep. But then again, what does it matter? I'm moving 8 time zones away in 3 days. To acclimate with that schedule, I'd have to be nocturnal. So, fuck it, I say, I'll just screw up my internal clock, reset if you will, so that when I get to London, I'll just be exhausted beyond belief. I think the best way to beat jet lag would be to combine every remedy I've ever heard of. So, first things first, I'll fast for about a day beforehand, drinking only water to stay hydrated. Then I'll stretch repeatedly to keep the muscles from tightening. And keep away from the booze while sitting in the sunlight. This sounds like a game I used to play when I was a kid, only back then, I would stare at the sun while pretending to be a Power Ranger. Power Rangers don't get jet lag!

In the end, I guess it's the fear of the unknown, the new, that plagues me. But isn't this something I should welcome? We shall see... (PS, Ratatat is some solid music at this hour.) But besides all the obvious fears, I'm also afraid I'm going to blow up my iPod by plugging it into the wall the wrong way...or something else preposterous like getting arrested in a Tesco for not signing my credit cards. Someone smart once said, "Expect the best, prepare for the worst." I do the opposite by expecting the best and that's it. God, I'm so fucking lazy.

Anyways, expect pictures of red buses and telephone booths (which I may be dependent on for the first few days) in about a week. I don't know what to expect, but those two are safe bets.

What to Expect?

Having returned from Georgetown, I now face the fact that I am only days away from moving to London. The whole moving to a new country/continent doesn't bother me that much, nor does the new school/style of education. My biggest worry is the social factor. Who will I hang out with? I've made friends here who are going to LSE, but I wonder if I'll actually see them that often when I'm over there. Or will I hang out with only Georgetown kids? That seems to defeat the point of going abroad to me.

Whenever I go on Facebook and see yet another new gallery of my friends in other foreign countries, I can only help but wonder if I'll have pictures like these posted. Will I suddenly create these friends who will want to go to Amsterdam, Wales, and Scotland with me? Will they want to watch a match at Emirates? Or will they only be into hitting the pubs? I guess I can only do my best to make some friends and not worry too much about it.

Another question I have is whether or not I will actually care or do much schoolwork. But that's a less important issue...

Hash House Harriers

Hashing is the activity in which you run in a group, following a trail left by the "hare" (imagine Hansel and Gretel). Then, once you done running, or sometimes, while you're running, you drink beer. It's a running and drinking club, basically. I enjoy running, and the idea of a "drinking club with a running problem" sounds cool, I imagine this will turn out like my Dad's hiking group, a bunch of weird, eccentric old people with a strange superiority complex trying to stay in shape while having fun with like minded people. Hashing sounds awesome enough that I just might have to check one of these out, especially because it seems like a really British thing to do.
At the same time, living so close to Regent's Park, I may just stick to running there. But if that becomes repetitive or boring, it may be nice to get out and learn about some new routes like I did with the tri team at school. And there's beer afterwards! Running the city has always been my favorite way to learn about a new city, so hashing may be a good fit for me.

I just wish there was an LSE hashing club (kennel) so that I could run with people my age. At least that way, I'm meeting people my age.

Visa: Go

Today, September 2nd, 2009, I finally received my UK visa. And of all the days to have it, for today I had my wisdom teeth removed. It's not like it's some grand coincidence, but I had imagined me staring at the UPS package tracking site as if my visa had a GPS tracker on it. I imagined running to the door and signing for my visa and passports. But instead I has high on nitrous oxide, lying in a bed looking like a chipmunk.

But when I got home, the package was waiting. Anti-climatic, but it really should be. All the worry was unnecessary, but hindsight has good eyesight or whatever. Anyways, now that this is done, my mom is finally comfortable buying me a plane ticket over there, and more importantly a peacoat. Labor Day sales, here I come.

But here's my real question: What if I hadn't gotten my visa? What would I have done then? It's too late to try to return to Georgetown as a junior, as classes began last week. I instead imagined going to the UK anyways and living the life of an illegal immigrant. Or would I have had to take the year off and live at home and find a way to get my tuition back from Georgetown? Thank God I didn't have to resort to any of these scenarios.

Another thing I also wonder is this: If for some reason I couldn't go to England, would I still care about football (soccer)? Would I still look forward to watching Top Gear on TV? What would I tell my friends? It's a horrible scenario, where I can see only one positive emerging (aaspacio), but that's an entirely separate issue.

Now I actually have to worry about what life in London will be like. Damn, that's exciting. I can actually look forward to my time in the UK without those stupid, unnecessary worries.

Still Waiting...

I'm still waiting for any indication from the British consulate about my Visa application. I sent it a couple weeks ago, so it could come any day now or in another month. I have no idea.

Other Shit

Edinburgh looks cool. That is all.

Visa Application Sent

Last Friday, I got my biometrics done. A simple fingerprinting and passport picture later, and I was able to send my entire Visa application. So, this morning it was sent to the British consulate in LA. I wonder how long it will take to hear back. For some reason, I'm nervous about not getting a visa.