I honestly don't know if I've ever been this depressed and happy before. This feeling is reminiscent of the end of high school, but it's hurts a little more. I think it's because I can't take solace in the fact that while I won't get to see my friends again, I won't be missing out because all my other friends are gone too. Now, I am missing an entire year. It's the same feeling I had when all my friends went to Delaware over summer, but expanded over many, many months. Every joke, every event, every hookup, every meal. I am missing the daily life of college with my boys. Right now, I do regret going abroad for as long as I am.
At times, I definitely hated all these guys, especially when they infiltrated my room and would demand to "smash." But it's these small things that I am going to miss. How will I get by without releasing my pent up anger on them?
I really am looking forward to going to London, but I don't want to miss out on a year at Georgetown. I overlooked this feeling of brotherhood and nostalgia that I already feel for this place. And though my last final is in 23 minutes, I can consider myself a junior. Half-way done with college. That frightens me, especially when I think that I've spent two years with these guys and I only one more year left.
As Asher Roth said, "Do I really have to graduate, or can I just stay here for the rest of my life?" I definitely have my reservations about this school. Don't get me wrong, it has many, many flaws. But I love my friends, and after living with them for two years, I can say that I have a connection with them that will be hard to replicate again in London. And though our bonds are strong, can it survive a year apart? What will happen when I come back August 2010. So many months away, thank god for facebook, email, and ichat.
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